Is It Better to Have a Pet Dragon or a Pet Unicorn?

Misty Powell (INFP) vs Ruel Deandra (ENTP)

 

Ruel : I don't know why I bother debating with her. Everyone knows that pet dragons are superior in every way to pet unicorns. In case you weren't aware, fire-breathing and aerial superiority are pretty valuable traits to have on the battlefield. What does a lame little pony have to offer? It can't even fight with the horn it was so aptly named for.

Misty : You honestly think a giant, flying, fire-breathing lizard could compare to the gloriousness of a majestic, mythical beast? Unicorns have the purest souls and the most beautiful form. Dragons are destructive and wild, constantly burning cities and stealing villagers for treasures. What value is there in that? Give me the grace of a unicorn any day.

Ruel : Look at the pretty pony princess, letting her emotions get the best of her like the stereotypical little girl she is so she can white knight her favorite mythical animal. Dragons are powerful, mysterious, and magnificent beasts. While they may carry more risk due to their nature, they're also one of the most feared animals in the world. They possess a strength unlike any other animal and could easily defeat a pathetic, defenseless horse.

Misty : A unicorn is more than just a pretty pony, Ruel. It's a magical, mystical creature capable of healing any illness and carrying you off into the sunset on its white-gold coat. What's a dragon going to do other than burn everything around you to the ground? Sure, they're mighty and frightening, but they're also destructive and unpredictable. A unicorn is reliable and trustworthy, qualities you clearly don't possess.

Ruel : Why, so you expect me to believe that pretty-boy horses can heal people now? Your magical, mystical, "Oh-so-trustworthy" equines are nothing but a big, fat lie. They can't do anything other than fart rainbows and prance around. And what is this about a fiery dragon being unpredictable? I'm perfectly capable of controlling my dragon.

Misty : That's right, they can. Unicorns have the ability to cure diseases by simply placing their horn on your forehead. It's a well-established fact and has been proven by countless sources. Meanwhile, dragons have the temperament of a two-year-old spoiled brat who didn't get their way. They have no tolerance for anyone but themselves, and I bet yours will hates you as much as everyone else does.

Ruel : You're joking, right? That's the most absurd bit of nonsense I've ever heard! A mythical animal healing someone by placing its horn on their head? Where did you even hear this? A comic book? You do know those are made up and not real... right? As for dragons having the temper of a toddler, that's all your opinion. You have no basis for that ridiculous claim other than your precious personal bias towards unicorns.

Misty : That so-called absurd bit of nonsense just happens to be a fact. I've done plenty of research; it turns out that unicorns have been used in medicine since the Medieval times. They have the power to heal almost any ailment, including the plague. I don't need a basis for my claim when it's so clearly obvious. Dragons are unruly and chaotic. Period. You'd be better off befriending a rabid poodle.

Ruel : Oh really? If unicorns have the power to cure all ailments, why didn't they just go around healing everyone back during the Black Plague? All the world seemed to be doing at that time was burning the infected, so why weren't the unicorns' magical powers being taken advantage of? It all sounds like a massive hoax to me.

Misty : What's the matter? Couldn't come up with a better comeback? The Black Plague was a horrible time filled with despair and misery. It was hard to keep faith when people fell sick around you on a daily basis. Just because unicorns couldn't heal everybody doesn't make them any less magical.

Ruel : Oh please! You can't tell me that the Black Plague wasn't the perfect opportunity for the unicorns to shine! They have this magical, mystical healing factor you boast about so much, and no one thought to use it? Not even the people that believed in them most? Yeah sorry, but it's hard to believe in the power of something that wasn't utilized when it was needed most.

Misty : I... I... Maybe they just... couldn't. Maybe... maybe something... happened... to them. Yeah. I'm sure... that there's a reason why... they weren't... there to save everyone.

Ruel : Okay, we'll play it your way and give the unicorns the benefit of the doubt when it comes to the Black Plague. So, what makes you think that unicorns are so much better than dragons?

Misty : Unicorns are so much more beautiful, you can feel the purity in their presence. Dragons can do more, sure, but they're not as majestic. Unicorns have a pure soul and innocent heart, making them ideal friends and companions. Dragons are aggressive and dangerous, not good company for anyone except the brave or foolish.

Ruel : Yeah, yeah, dragons have more power, but unicorns have a better personality and are "more beautiful." Sure, that might be true for some people, but I don't care about looks or a personality when I want someone to protect me. What's a unicorn going to do for me when I'm cornered by some armed bandit on the road? Give him a friendly handshake? Face it, unicorns are just pretty horses that can't do anything but prance around and fart rainbows. They can only be a friend, never a protector.

Misty : Dragons have more destructive power, sure, but it's also harder to control them. The fact that you care more about power and fighting over other qualities shows me how shallow and arrogant you really are. And don't you dare refer to unicorns as "pretty horses"; if they heard you say that, they'd trample you into the dirt.

Ruel : What's so shallow and arrogant about valuing protection over personality? Your little emotional argument earlier made no sense. Unicorns might be pure and innocent, but if they can't protect anyone, then what good does having a pure soul matter? That is why I'd pick dragons over unicorns any day. Plus, if you know how to interact with dragons, it isn't that difficult to control them. You just have to be assertive, not babying them around like some pretty little pony.

Misty : Just stop. We'll never see eye to eye and nothing you can say will change my mind. Dragons are destructive and unpredictable. Unicorns are noble and trustworthy. Period.

Ruel : Aww, somebody’s pissed. What, can’t handle my logical aguments anymore? You can't just say "period" like that makes you right. That's not how debates work. And besides, you keep talking about how unpredictable and destructive dragons are as if it's an inherently bad thing. What's wrong with a little chaos and destruction? That's what makes dragons so interesting. Unicorns are just so plain and boring in comparison.

Misty : There is nothing plain or boring about unicorns. You're just blind to anything that doesn't give you an opportunity to light something on fire.

Ruel : Yeah sure, whatever you say. Just agree to disagree and let's call it a day. I'm getting tired of listening to your little pony princess simping.

Misty : Fine. Let's just stop it. I think I've lost enough brain cells talking to you as it is.

Ruel : Yeah, you're probably right. I feel like I'm talking to a wall of pure stupidity here, anyway. Anyway, I need to get going. I've got important stuff to do, unlike you, who looks like you need some rest.

Misty : Yeah, fine. Go ahead and leave. I'm sure you have to go do some stupid things like burning stuff and annoying people.

Ruel : That's right, you'd know what stupid things are seeing how you're the expert on stupidity. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to do something productive with my time.

Misty : Stupid... arrogant... jerk...